Who am I?

Such a simple question...yet there are so many answers. I think the best way for me to answer it is to start with me. Music has always been a very important part of my life. Whether it was the good or the bad, I have always had music in my life. When we were in 5th grade, we got to chose which instrument to play. I played alto sax from then through the first half of 6th grade. From there, I switched to tenor sax and then very quickly to bari. From there, I found a new instrument that I wanted to learn. For some reason, I always found the loudest and lowest pitched instruments! I found the tuba. In 8th grade I asked my band director, Mr. Glass if I could learn it. I spent 3 days a week after school enveloping myself in this new "toy." Fast forward to senior year of high school. For the past few years, I have continued to play bari sax in jazz band, but my focus has continued to be on tuba in concert band and jazz band. During the panic of everyone applying to colleges, I had the joy of practicing and learning solo pieces for the auditions that would need to accompany my applications.

One of the first schools I heard back from was UConn. They put me in a gray area and told me that I would have to wait until after my playing audition to make a final decision. Let's talk about putting more stress on a high school senior who has UConn as their top school. I remember spending 4 hours a day practicing up until my audition to make sure I had everything perfect for that piece. The audition came and went, I started my fall semester at UConn and fell in love with the music program.

Since middle school, I knew in my heart that I wanted to be a music educator. I have just finished my application and interview for the NEAG School of Education. Even though I feel like everything went like it was supposed to, I still have my stomach in knots waiting for an answer. I finally heard back and learned that everything was up to par except my GPA. I was .002 short of what they were ideally looking for. Having my dreams crushed, I told myself that no matter what obstacles were going to be thrown in front of me, I was going to pursue my dream and "Keep Moving Forward" (thank you, Walt Disney for the wonderful quote).

I graduated from UConn in May of 2012 with a B.A. in Music. I took the next year off to build my resume in hopes of being accepted to another program to receive my degree. I applied to ARC and CCSU, but didn't get into either one. I kept working to beef up my resume all while working 2 jobs at 70 hours a week to pay bills and some of my loans.

That was when someone told me that I should look into the UB program. I went online and made a few phone calls. The next week, I met with Professor Martignetti to discuss how the program worked and got a tour of the campus. From there, I knew that it was for me and frantically put together my application and resume to make sure I would be one of the first to get my application in. This was my chance to follow that ever-illusive dream of mine! I was accepted and excitedly began the program in the Fall of 2013.

Looking back, I would not change a single thing that I have experienced. My life up until this point has given me numerous opportunities to step back and "smell the roses" so to speak. After looking back at all that I have been through, I realized that there were only a few individuals I really remember inspiring me to become who I am today and what I want to do with my life. It doesn't surprise me in the least that they were my music teachers!

My music teachers taught me something that I continue to keep with me to this day. I find it interesting that after reading Dr. Peter Boonshaft's book, Teaching Music with Purpose, he has the same belief. That is the fact that you are the only one who can determine what happens to you. "You only get beaten from within." After reading and reflecting on the book, I realize that Boonshaft has hit the nail on the head that failure is opportunity turned upside down.

As educators, we need to be able to "do what we can, with what we have, where we are." Everyone has their ideal situation where the dream about the entire school being involved with the music department in some way no matter how small or large that contribution is. It is my personal belief that no matter what situation someone is put in, they can make the most of it and really help a growing program to blossom into its full potential. If we as teachers of such a beautiful art form can presume excellence from our students, they will succeed. By expecting nothing but the best, our students will come to learn that if they hold themselves to these same standards, they will be successful not only in music but in all other areas of their lives as well. We do, however, need to keep our dreams in perspective. We can have all the aspirations in the world, but if we rush through the journey, we haven't achieved anything. As Boonshaft says in his chapter Dwelling on Dreams, sitting down at an extravagant 7 course meal means nothing if you don't get to savor each course. If you just rush through each plate of food and only get to have a few bites, you leave feeling unaccomplished and frustrated. The same goes for rehearsals. If we treat our music like a 7 course meal, but rush through it, nobody wins. Our students need to feel a little bit of pressure from us to always strive for excellence, but even more important is that fact that THEY NEED TO BE PROUD OF THEIR EFFORT AND ABILITY.

I think the best way that I can sum up who I am and what I stand for in the world of music education is that life, not just music, is a never-ending circle of growth. There is good. There is bad. But regardless of what we encounter, we need to learn from our experiences. We as educators and role models should never settle for good. We need to strive for excellence, no matter how big or small that excellence is, and if asked to repeat something, we do it. Not again, but better.